Life is full of opportunities to be appreciative, thankful, and even grateful.
Not quite in my case lately.
Things have been going just as per usual, I try my best to be supportive and helpful, but I believe it’s time for me to move on for some people. I love my siblings, but as of late I feel more taken for granted than I ever have.
So here goes what went down to finally break me…
The 4th of July is independence day for America, and that gets pretty wild, but the 3rd of July is really where the party’s at. Evey year since I’ve been born (and for long before that) we- my family, give or take a few cousins, uncles, aunts, and or friends go down to Conesus Lake, Ny. I believe all the finger
lakes do this, but I’m unsure, anyways the event is called THE RING OF FIRE. Every 3rd of July people gather from near and far to party and enjoy fireworks, drinks, and fun. The reason it is called the Ring of Fire, is because around 9:00pm through 10:15pm all of those who have water front homes, trailers, or land, light flares, which creates the illusion that when looking around the lake there is a ring of fire.
Usually everyone gets very drunk and has a great time. This year I was the exception. I brought one of my really good friends K, we slept in a tent in the side yard, and were just having fun being there.
The first fight.
It’s getting late on the 2nd, but that doesn’t really matter because the parties go on forever. Now when I say it was late it was before midnight, so no too late, especially how things go down there. My little sister just keeps yelling at me to calm down, to be quiet-er, to stop. Which was fucking ridiculous because I wasn’t even the loudest at the table -I wasn’t drinking-and surely the drunken neighbours screaming were louder than I. Oh but, I was too much. Whatever.
So basically every time I felt like I was having fun or enjoying my time with every one she would tell me to one of the aforementioned things. I just got sick of it, so finally I said something back and I do not remember what I said but she was upset.
That was when I went too far, and if you ever had or have siblings you know this situation. I basically said “why are you even still part of this family” which hits a little deep in our family because we have had an Aunt that legally separated herself and family from ours (it was nasty for a long while, but not my story to tell.) Now I know looking back I should have said something else or nothing at all, but it’s too late now. I followed the argument back to our house and I was pissed like you would expect, but now my other sister and mother got involved, because you know the littlest sister was crying and “OMG The World is Ending” if she is upset, but it is 100% okay for me to be pissed.
I argued back and pressed how angry I was that she just kept telling me to shut up and be quiet and all that jazz, which is when my family took it as a joke, and said the usual “I do too” and “well duh you’re annoying” bullshit, that of course just pissed me off more.
Flash forward to the next day.. July 3rd. The Ring of Fire!
All day we kind of just hung out, at sometime we took a hike – which was way longer than we all expected then we headed back to get ready for the party. Now I want to preface that I spent nearly 200 Dollars in food, drinks, and fun; my siblings and parents also bought stuff too… but not 200 Dollars worth. I had more friends coming down and so did my older sister, so I half expected her to help with things.
We pack a few bags to take down to the lake which is just across the street, literally less than a three-minute walk there and back. But that was way too much for them apparently. So I did that. my extra friends arrive and I’m still trying to set things up and
greet other people- who weren’t even my guests- there was a lot to do. I’m running around like a chicken with no head and my guests are asking if they can help and of course I say no because that is what you do. They are guests for a reason. Here I am again asking my sisters to help, and still I get nothing.
Dinner was supposed to start at 5/5:30 pm but we didn’t serve until 6:30/6:45pm! I was pissed, people were waiting it was embarrassing! I only asked my little sister to light the grill upwards of 20 times and the rest of them just as much.
I had some fun in between then and the next incident.
Glow Sticks! We buy, or I should say I buy a shit ton every year and we all deck each other out in glow bracelets and necklaces even weird things like earrings and flags (you never know what I will find) but there is only one rule. Kids get decorated first that way you know that you will not lose them and they are always visible.
My older sister’s friend decided that he didn’t care what we had to say, or how things went, he wanted them and grabbed and even after I told him he continued to be an ass and grab. Insert 8-year-old style hissy fit here, I said fuck it, took my camera and phone (which was hooked up to the music) and cried my way back to our tent.
I fucking hated them. All I wanted all day was help, and for things to go like they are supposed to- I know how that sounds but like things that go that way because it’s what we do, not like things could go another way. So I wrote all of this shit down in my journal and stayed away from the fun for probably 20 minutes before my best friend K. came back to talk to me. Thankfully she calmed me down for the time being and then we went out and semi-enjoyed the rest of the party and fireworks.
K. and I went to sleep before everyone else, the night no longer was fun, and everyone who was having fun were the ones who pissed me off, so yeah. Then next morning K. and I packed up the tent and all of our stuff and were about to head out when mom caught us. She was surprized to see us packed but at the same time I think she knew there was no point asking me why we are leaving.
The best part of that weekend was the car ride
to the lake and home, because my family wasn’t there and I could act like myself jamming out to music with my best friend, K.
July 4th. I spent the day inside up stairs and away from everyone. Fuck em.
July 5th. Wednesday. I had to go back to work and still I spent the day ignoring people with my headphones and silence. Only when I was literally standing up to go get ready for work did my mom finally say “what is wrong with you, you have been clearly upset since you got home, and you were angry at the lake and didn’t seem to have any fun.” My only response was to say “I wonder why” because I had to get ready for work, other wise I probably would have told her what was wrong.
July 6th three days later and I’m still pissed. Fuck em.
(All images, unless otherwise stated, were sourced from Pixabay.com and stockphotos.)