I have to say that I believe my spaced out mind was probably focused on the dream I had, had that night. So the dream its self was normal, but like most dreams you can only remember up to 10% of the dream. Well the part I remember is that Brandon was my teacher ( I do not know what this was for, it could have been college or high school) and I believe the subject was pre-calc or calc. Which I clearly remember stating that I should not have even been in this class, and that I had to wait for my schedule to be fixed. But the weird thing was, is that the room was constantly changing, and possibly even the people, but I do not recall anyone else besides him. So things were going just like a normal class would, until a random moment when he came over to say something in my ear and kissed my cheek instead. I believe that there was some one next to me as well.
This dream had to derive from last week or the week before when he was leaving to go out to lunch with Kayla, Shanna, Jon, and a few others and I bit him lightly on the wrist. You see he had his arm around my shoulders leaning over the settee seats, and then I lightly bit his wrist, because it was close enough to my face. He then proceeded to quickly and gently kiss my cheek. Which I didn’t really think anything of until later when I realized that he actually pecked my cheek.
Th thing that strikes me as weird is that the kiss in the dream was almost the same as in real life. Because we decided that being just friends would be better for both of us, this really makes me rack my brain for signals and signs of what to do now. I mean we have gotten along for most of the time and when I do get angry at him I want to say it is never more than two hours.
This kid scares the living daylights out of me and I wish I knew why I can not just let him be and move on to another guy. I mean it has been almost 5 years since I met him and I thought that our love at first sight then would go places. Imagine five years from then, and suddenly realizing that you have never wanted anyone but him, that he has always been the one to calm you down and make you see clearly. Using Tim Minchin’s words we have “that creepy, up-y, kind of love. The one that sneaks up on you.”
So in other words I hope that things between us do not falter, because right now he is what is saving me from myself.