I have this cloud that follows me. It is a decent sized one, not always too dark but never really light and bright. This cloud sometimes is to my right, my left, above or below, It’s usually around whether I want it to be or not.
I have had this cloud for a long time now, I can not even begin to guess when I noticed it. I know I was young, but only as I grew older did I start to notice it more, and that it seemed to bother me more now being a few years older, than it did in my younger years. Strange you see, this presumably grumpy grey cloud can and does have good days. Sometimes I even enjoy its shade. As of late everything seems to have changed colors, there is no grey anymore, now its charcoal all the time, not quite black and never really grey either.
All of my life I have dealt with the consequences that comes with this fluffy ball of dark grey mass. Knowing all of its ups and downs and even when sometimes it decides to go left instead of right. Many days and even many more nights have been spent tip-toeing around the maze, trying not to trigger anything the cloud doesn’t like. Here’s the difficult part, all too often things go unnoticed, or the cloud randomly decides that thing they used to love, now they hate it, and random stuff that they would never have touched before, well now that’s the cloud’s favorite. If only I were to get a rotating and updated do and do not list, love and dislike, or even just simple yes or no, life might get that much simpler.
Tonight I witnessed its very dark, stormy and, rainy weather. Honestly there was no way around it, I was led through the attack almost as if the cloud knew that if I walked this way in my socks, by the time I get close to it, all of the static electricity will build up enough that it would be able to amplify its lightening powers. To then only shock the ever-living shit out of my self.
It knew what it was doing, and It was just waiting, and while it was pouring, there were no questions asked it knew all my moves, where I was going and how to follow me there and bring the rain harder. This cloud has been with me so long that I never realized while I was studying its moves, it was looking into mine and memorizing everything they saw.
I had no defense, no umbrella, and no way to land this and win. I tried to just give in, and let this darkness entombed me, but the little voice inside me just said “fogettabout it” (heavy Italian accent) I’m not sure why.)
So here I am, I will not let this dark looming cloud, who is right around the corner, ruin the rest of my life. I am done letting it dictate how things are run and how my day is going to be. Goodbye cloud, get some help on your way out.
Peace love and above all,